KITCHEN Chuckles

OOPS! Just because you’re cooking for only two doesn’t mean there’ll be fewer kitchen mishaps. Chances are you’ve had an “Oh, no!” moment like these shared by fellow readers:

Sticks To The Ribs Good

WHEN my husband and I first married, we stayed at a friend's house while she was out of town. I wasn't a great cook yet, but I knew how to fry and boil. So one night, I made pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy. After one bite, I thought, "Oh, oh-the marriage is over!" The meat and potatoes were fine, but the gravy was absolutely awful.

I soon realized what went wrong. My friend wallpapered a lot, and she kept the powdered wallpaper paste (which I thought was flour) in one of the canisters! My husband and I have been happily "stuck" together ever since. -Leona T., St. Paul, Minnesota

That's The Pits

THE FIRST TIME I made a cherry pie, the crust rolled out perfectly. I drained the cherries in the sink for the filling, then realized the recipe called for the cherry juice. Fortunately, I had grape juice on hand and used it instead.

The finished pie looked and smelled wonderful-no one would ever know of my mistake. However, when we took the first few bites of the pie, it became apparent that I'd made my first cherry pie with unpitted cherries! -Betty G., Racine, Wisconsin

Lettuce Pie

I’D never made a pie in my life when I decided to bake one for my husband. I closely followed the directions, thinking it was strange to top the filling with lettuce instead of a crust.

When the pie came out of the oven, the lettuce leaves were black. My poor husband tried not to laugh as he looked up the recipe. What I had read as “lettuce” was really “lattice.” Live and learn!
—Amy J., Alexander, Iowa

Double-Disaster Date

WHILE IN COLLEGE, I decided to make my future husband an old-fashioned home-cooked meal and transport it to his apartment.

While loading my car, I placed a crystal dish filled with strawberries and pound cake on the roof—and forgot it. When I got to his apartment, I couldn’t figure out where the dessert had gone. (The mystery was solved when I drove home to get the rest of the meal and saw the shattered dessert dish in the middle of an intersection.)

The second catastrophe of the evening I fondly refer to as the “sand biscuits.” When I made the rolls, I didn’t have baking powder on hand and decided to use baking soda instead.

I think my future husband became dehydrated just eating them! To this day he says with a straight face, “No, really, they were good.”
—Kathryn P., Oklahoma

Stick-to-Your-Ribs Meal

WHEN we were first married, my husband and I stayed at a friend’s house while she was out of town. I wasn’t a great cook, but I knew how to fry and boil. One night, I made pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy. After one bite, I thought, “Oh, oh—the marriage is over!”

Actually, the meat and potatoes were fine, but the gravy was awful. I soon discovered what went wrong. My friend wallpapered a lot, and she kept the powdered wallpaper paste (which I thought was flour) in a kitchen canister!

My husband and I have been happily “stuck” together ever since.
—Leona T., St. Paul, Minnesota

One Cup Too Many

MY HUSBAND had just retired, and I was still working. One morning I started a small batch of beef soup for him to finish preparing before I got home.

One of the ingredients he was to add was 1/4 cup of barley. Thinking I’d made a mistake in my instructions, he added an entire cup more! The soup became absolutely stiff. We couldn’t eat it, so he took me out to dinner that evening.
—Phyllis W., Bucksport, Maine

Lettuce Pie

I’D never made a pie in my life when I decided to bake one for my husband. I closely followed the directions, thinking it was strange to top the filling with lettuce instead of a crust.

When the pie came out of the oven, the lettuce leaves were black. My poor husband tried not to laugh as he looked up the recipe. What I had read as “lettuce” was really “lattice.” Live and learn!
—Amy J., Alexander, Iowa